Stop Beating Yourself Up For Not Being “Supermom”

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My son ate popcorn and two dates for dinner. Yep. You read that right. White cheddar popcorn and a pair of medjool dates that I had to take the pit out of and break apart.

Needless to say, today was just not my day in the world of “mom-ing”.

Normally, like most other moms, I rip myself a new one for doing things like this. Or rather, allowing things like this to happen. It goes without saying that it is so easy to feel like an awful mother. For one reason or another, we always manage to talk ourselves down to feeling less than we actually are. It is simple to think that we aren’t doing enough but so, so hard to imagine that we are doing anything right.

As moms, we carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.

We are the 

childcare workers,

chefs,

chauffeurs, 

housecleaners, 

playmates,

teachers, 

accountants,

household managers,

nurses,

and so much more

all rolled into one.

So what does this mean for moms? If any of these categories, including the million subcategories that are not mentioned, fall short of our expectations, we crumble. Maybe not physically, but mentally, we tend to fall apart. We think, something is not right, so I am not right. We tell ourselves, the laundry didn’t get done today, so I didn’t live up to the expectations.

It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, we all have these feelings. Stay at home moms struggle with contributing in other ways outside of being a caretaker; working moms can never find enough time to spend with their kids outside of their regular 9-5. In either situation, we tell ourselves that we are failing or that we are not doing enough. It is ingrained in our minds that we should always be doing more.

As a mother of a toddler that keeps me on my toes, I am far from being supermom. I tried tirelessly for the first two years of his life to be every thing he could possibly want or need, while satisfying all of my household duties. But recently, thankfully, I have given myself some slack. No, it isn’t ideal that my son just ate a dinner that was more of a snack and went to bed in the same clothes he had on all day, but sometimes, it happens. Most days, he has a pretty balanced dinner, brushes his teeth twice a day, and wears clean pajamas to bed.

But today was not one of those days.

And that’s okay.

A year ago, I would have went to bed on the verge of breaking down, because how could I be such a terrible mom. How could I allow my son to not eat a substantial dinner to fill his tummy before bed. How could I fail him so badly?

Tonight, I am not thrilled. But I’m okay. I’m a good mom. The fact that I wish I did better, makes me a good mom. I am always trying to do things right by my son, and although it doesn’t always happen, I try.

And that’s all that matters.

So next time you are feeling like you haven’t done enough for your children, you have failed them in some way, or you haven’t met the expectations, remember that you are a good mom because you care to do better. You work hard to be a good mom, and that’s what counts in their little eyes.

-Halle

 

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